Note to self #3: When life gives you lemons… pray for oranges (and make it an Aperol)

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There’s something about this time of year that feels like the emotional equivalent of spinning plates while riding a unicycle… on a hill. The countdown to exam season is officially on, and in this house we’ve got the full set: SATs on one side, GCSEs on the other, and me somewhere in the middle trying to keep the vibes calm while internally oscillating between “you’ve got this!” and “have you revised anything today?!”

It’s a strange balancing act, parenting through exams. You want to push—but not shove. Encourage—but not nag. Support—but not suffocate. Basically, you’re aiming for that magical middle ground where they feel motivated, not pressured… which, if anyone has actually mastered, please do share your secrets.

Both kids are in such different places emotionally. One is quietly getting on with it, the other riding the wave of stress, snacks, and sudden deep reflections at 10pm. And I keep coming back to the same message (to them and honestly, to myself too): you get out what you put in. If you’ve given it your all, truly your 100%, then whatever happens next is just that—the next step. Not a definition of who you are.

Because here’s the thing no one really tells you loudly enough: these exams matter, yes—but they are not everything. They don’t measure kindness, resilience, humour, or the ability to get back up when life inevitably throws a curveball (or a lemon… or ideally an orange).

And speaking of oranges—let’s talk about coping mechanisms. Mine? Gifting.

Now, did I grow up receiving beautifully curated “exam survival baskets”? Absolutely not. Did my parents hand me a face mask and a motivational quote before a maths paper? Also no. But have I seen these baskets online and thought, “yes, this is my moment”? 100%.

So, I’ve gone all in (within reason—let’s not pretend I’ve created a spa retreat). A few thoughtful bits: some nice pens, a face mask, their favourite snacks, and a card that says, without saying too much, “I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’ve got you.” Because sometimes it’s not about the stuff, it’s about the feeling behind it.

And maybe that’s what this season is really about—not just grades and revision timetables, but showing up. Letting them know they’re supported, even when we don’t have the perfect words. Trying to guide without controlling. Caring… without making it overwhelming.

Also, quietly reminding myself that this generation has a lot on their shoulders. There’s an expectation to achieve, to perform, to have it all figured out far too early. It’s a lot. And if all I can do is create a home where they feel safe enough to try, fail, learn, and try again—then I’ll take that as a win.

So here we are. Snacks stocked, highlighters everywhere, emotions slightly heightened, and me… probably making an Aperol spritz at the end of the day and calling it “self-care.”

Because if life gives you lemons, you can try to make lemonade…
or you can hope for oranges and make it a little more interesting.

Either way, we’ll get through it.